Thursday, December 29, 2011

Ceci n'est pas une blogue du Nouvelle An

Oh, who am I kidding.
Of course it is! That's right everybody, new year's is just around the corner and that means:

 And in this version, the lyrics don't actually sound like "O four tuna, bring more tuna, statuary on his knees".
Anyways, I recently realized that at a Chanukkah party the other day (no matter how many times blogger tells me that spelling is wrong, THAT is how I spell Chanukkah. Two k's.) I was acting more obnoxious than usual. For me, this means being somewhat uh..pretentious...perfectionist (in a really annoying way) and well, generally treating my friends a little more shabby than usual.

That being said, (And I couldn't find a suitable Love Actually quote to go here, although I did try. Very hard. But the movie was all about how you tell the truth and spend time with people you love, which I did.) I just hope they'll forgive me and we can make the New Year more splendid than the last!

Right, so New Year's Resolutions:

1) Get down to the gym WITHOUT COMPLAINING
2) Actually finish a couple projects that are not hats, scarves or mittens (well, I still haven't finished the other mitten. My cat decided to play with the first completed one and was pooping out blue for a week and oh my god, my hands are so cold I can't type)
3) Don't fail any classes (like french. harrumph)
4) Don't eat Cheetos because I realize all they do is give me a stomach-ache
And Finally
5) Go with the flow. Just because someone is taking lousy pictures (or using a flash outside) or
 pronouncing a word differently than I do or is typing too slow or just in general does something less efficiently (or so it would seem) than I do (so it isn't necessarily less efficient):
It doesn't mean I have to get up there and change the way they do things. It's not a pretty picture and usually ends in a lot of exasperated sighs and silly arguments.

That being said, I should also stop getting into silly arguments with my best friend. They're not worth the arguing and the fighting. And fighting "sucks balls" as she would say.

So, mein lieben, ich liebe dich unt gl├╝ckliche neue Jahr! 

I love google translate :)

So now that I have spilled my guts, it's time for some photos and project updates!

As mentioned before, I love making hats and there's this one patter from lion brand yarn (that I will post) that makes rather fantastic hats. It uses just one ball and although it's got plenty of holes in it, it's surprisingly warm..just not in -17 C weather. Like today. Anything between 15 and -10 is okay. But anything colder just goes right though your hat and makes your ears blue.
I know mine turned purple. It was creepy.
Anyways, here's what mine look like because I'm sure the models in the lion brand yarn picture were chosen from a catalogue. I'm positive they've got a catalog for generic 30 year old looking models who are doing clothing lines like the commercials with the two annoying men and the ugly clothing modeled by women who CLEARLY never wear them. Reitmans? Possibly.

So this is a friend of mine wearing the hat I made her with some lovely green sparkly yarn she gave me. 
If you want any of the yarn, be prepared to make a 9 hour flight to Arizona. 

So the green compliments her fiery red hair quite nicely ^_^

As for the pattern, here it is. Although I didn't make this one up (but I have memorized it perfectly).

One Ball Hat (slouchy hat )

Ch 10.
Row 1: Sc in 2nd ch from hook and in each ch across - 9 sc.
Rows 2-80: Ch 1, turn, working in back loops only, sc in each st across.
Hold first and last row together, with sts aligned. To join Band, ch 1, turn, working through both thicknesses, slip st in each st across. Do not fasten off.

Rnd 1:
Ch 3 (counts as hdc, ch 1), working in ends of rows across long edge of Band, sk first 2 rows, *hdc in next row, ch 1, sk next row; rep from * around - 40 pattern reps at the end of this rnd. Place marker in last ch-1 sp for indicate end of rnd. Move marker up as work progresses.
Rnd 2: Hdc in first ch-3 sp, ch 1, *hdc in next ch-1 sp, ch 1; rep from * around.
Rep Rnd 2 until Hat measures 6 in. (15 cm) from lower edge of Band.
Top of Hat (crown)
Rnd 1:
*(Hdc in next ch-1 sp, ch 1) 7 times, sk next ch-1 sp; rep from * around - 35 pattern reps.
Rnd 2: *Hdc in next ch-1 sp, ch 1; rep from * around.
Rnd 3: *(Hdc in next ch-1 sp, ch 1) 6 times, sk next ch-1 sp; rep from * around - 30 pattern reps.
Rnd 4: Rep Rnd 2.
Rnd 5: *(Hdc in next ch-1 sp, ch 1) 5 times, sk next ch-1 sp; rep from * around - 25 pattern reps.
Rnd 6: Rep Rnd 2.
Rnd 7: *(Hdc in next ch-1 sp, ch 1) 4 times, sk next ch-1 sp; rep from * around - 20 pattern reps.
Rnd 8: *(Hdc in next ch-1 sp, ch 1) 3 times, sk next ch-1 sp; rep from * around - 15 pattern reps.
Rnd 9: *(Hdc in next ch-1 sp, ch 1) 2 times, sk next ch-1 sp; rep from * around - 10 pattern reps.
Fasten off, leaving a long tail. Thread tail through sts of last rnd and pull to gather. Knot securely. 

You can see just how much neater and simpler these directions are from the ones I've been posting because I post mine the way I would understand them and lionbrandyarn posts them the way everybody else would.

I'm kind of a nutcase.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Ti-30x-IIS. Plus, there's a cute guy at the library

Wooaahhh I've been gone for a while.
New interface!

Lovin' it.

Anywhozzles, this new interface is not the reason I am here. No, indeed. I have recently been...liberated. Freed from the chains of oppression. Granted my freedom from evil personages that wish nothing but for you to think how they tell you to.

That's right. School's out for the winter holidays! YAY! No more homework, no more exams, no more borrowing calculators from the cute guy at the library because you're only allowed one of two models of calculator.

This one:

Or this one:

I know. They're exactly the same. Unfortunately, me bringing my calculator in (one model too early) would have ended in me getting a zero on my calculus exam seeing as a) no electronics except those already specified and b)I simply would not have been allowed to bring it in and would have done so poorly that I probably would have died in shame.

However, school is over for the next month, so I have dedicated my time to several hobbies, one of which, as you know, is crocheting.
So I have created these lovely bracelets for your crocheting pleasure.

Black Beaded Band

I will start with this one as it's pretty simple and straightforward.

-Size 10 Cotton crochet thread (any color will do. I used plain white, but I'm planning a future project with black metallic thread. Oooh fancy :D I used a GIANT ball of cotton thread from Zellers-not the whole ball obviously-->$3.00)
-About 224 3mm glass beads (I used a little more than half a 30g tube of beads from Chaton Beads in Black-->$1.00)
-1mm Steel crochet hook

Abb. (What asshole made up the word "Abbreviation"?)
-Ch: Chain
-Sc: Single Crochet(s)
-Sl st: Slip stitch
-Bd: Bead (I probably won't use this very often but be on the lookout)

1. Thread beads onto thread. Leaving about 10 inches between beads and hook, Chain 17.
2. Sc in 3rd ch from hook, sc across. You should have 15 sc. Turn.
3. Rows 2-5: Sc across. 15 sc. Turn.
4. Row 6: Sc in first chain (not counting turning chain), sc with bead in next sc (google instuctions on how to incorporate beads into crochet work. It's really easy). repeat 6x, ending with one sc in last sc.  15 sc, 7 beads. Turn.
5. Row 7: Sc across. 15 sc. Turn
6. Repeat rows 6 and 7 until you have either 32 rows of beads or the bracelet is the desired length. Fold in half, beaded sides together lining up short edges and sl st edges together.

And there you go! A lovely beaded cuff that should take you no more than an hour or so. It can also be pretty badass if you create a beaded pattern on black thread but we'll see about that later ;)


Zipper Bracelet and Ladder Cuff
Zipper Bracelet:

-Size 10 cotton crochet thread
-About 70 3mm glass beads
-1mm steel crochet hook

1. Thread beads onto thread. Here's where it might get tricky: chain each stitch with a bead. So when you're making your foundation chain, you need to slide a bead down each stitch, draw up a loop RIGHT above it and continue as though nothing has changed. Do this for either 35 chains or until it's the right length to fit your wrist.
2. Sc with a bead in each chain of foundation chain.
3. Tie off. Cut thread to a length of 5 inches. Thread though last stitch of opposite side of bracelet and tie it tight. Slip on to your wrist and wear with pride!

Ladder Cuff:

-Size 10 cotton crochet thread
-62 3mm glass beads
-1mm steel crochet hook

-Sc: Single crochet
-Dbc: Double crochet
-Trc: Triple crochet

1. Thread beads onto thread. Chain 10.
2. Sc in 3rd ch from hook. Sc across. 8 sc. Turn
3. Row 2-3: sc across. 8 sc. Turn.
4. Row 4: 1 sc into first sc. 1 sc with a bead in next sc. Sc in next 4 sc. Sc with a bead in next sc. Sc in last sc. Turn. 6sc, 2 sc with a bead.
5. Row 5: Sc across. 8 sc. Turn.
6. Repeat rows 4 and 5 until you have 31 rows of beads.
7. Sc across. 8 sc. Turn.
8. Dbc across. 8dbc. Turn
9. Sc across. 8 sc. Turn
10. Dbc across. 8 dbc. Turn.
11. Repeat rows 4 and 5 for another 31 rows of beads. NOTE: If after step 10 you are crocheting your beads on the wrong side, do one more row of Single Crochet.
12. 2 rows of sc. 1 row trc (I just used the triple crochet to hurry the band along and make it bigger but you can use rows of single crochet if you like).
13. Holding short ends together, bead sides together, slip st edges tightly.

For all of these projects, a couple notes:
A) Crochet with beads and thin thread tends to make the projects curl up . With the cuffs, this won't be a problem once you crochet the edges together. However, with the Zipper bracelet, it tends to get a little spiraly.
B) It's easiest to get the beads on the thread if you first thread the cotton through a needle and then thread the beads though that. I used a size 6.8 embroidery/crewel needle.
C) They're really ridiculously easy. I'm sorry if my instructions are confusing but I did come up with these projects off the top of my head.


Thursday, December 8, 2011

I Love My Willy

AHAAHAHAHHA Gaby made a sex joke! LOL
Are we all 8th graders here? No? Good.

Although, if we are, I suggest you read this:
Spanking Shakespeare by Jake Wizner.
Read it, love it, eat it, lend it to your friend.
And good god, they might be making it into a movie @.*
(that's my mindfuck face, by the by)
That'll be one hell of an awkwardly hilarious film but since it's all about the way the main character, Shakespeare, writes..not sure how they'll figure this one out....

Anyways, for you William Shakespeare fans out there, I strongly suggest you watch this.
Like, right now. Stop studying for midterms and just waste the next hour and a half of your life.
You won't regret it, I assure you.

This is just part of it.
Here's my other favorite part:

Having been in a production of Othello, I can safely assure you that this is so much better than the original.
As our artistic director liked to put it "It's a very talky play". *Tejy smash!*
Sorry, that was a bit out of character. Ahem.

So yes, enjoy it, laugh, cry, defenestrate (don't you just love how there's a word to throw things out the window? Kind of like how there's a word to remove someones insides. DISEMBOWL)
Bye, I have to go study now.