Tuesday, November 27, 2012

COPYRIGHT INFRINGMENT

In response to the new facebook guidelines, I hereby declare that my copyright of the Dictatorship of the Democratic Republic of El-Baba is attached to all my personal details. Touch my shit and die, fuckers!

Anyone reading this CANNOT copy and paste it on their Facebook Wall (TM) because it will be in direct violation of the aforementioned copyright. By the present communique, I hereby notify Facebook
that it is strictly forbidden to disclose, disseminate, discombobulate, defenestrate or take any action against me as I have immunity from such measures. The violation of my privacy is punishable by law 7b of the Geneva Convention, Treaty 4, and the Constitution of the Dictatorship of the Democratic Republic of El-Baba (as well as whatever laws Facebook manages to pull out of its ass).

Facebook is now the enemy. All members wishing to rise up with me should post a notice like this. All citizens of the DDREB are required by law to post a notice like this. Non-compliance with this order will result in your immediate dispatch. IF you do not post a notice like this, you will be allowing facebook to enter your mind and brainwash you as you sleep.

You have been warned...

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Draft Dodgers and Mutated Daleks. And minions. And hats!

No, this is not a Doctor Who reference for once (in terms of me going on and on about the latest episode). In fact, it is due to a study session to which I was witness this morning. I have discovered that watching my friends in Arts and Sciences (one of the more grueling programs one will find in CEGEP) cram for an exam is much more entertaining than my Shakespearean english class where we talk about sex in Romeo and Juliet because, having re-read it after 4 years of deciding that I hated the play, it has been decided that the play is, indeed, about nothing but sex! And also that I still hate it. It is still a long, drawn out, hilarious tragedy that loses its flair about halfway through act three.

Also, I'm writing a history paper about draft dodgers during the Vietnam war who came to Canada. And no, it is not a judgemental piece where I condemn draft-age men for fleeing the draft because that would be silly. I don't really care one way or the other. What I do care about is how they were treated once they made it over the border (makes it sound like some huge ordeal where you have to leap tall buildings and crawl under barbed wire. Though according to The Manual for Draft Age Immigrants it kind of it). The paper will be dealing with how the social regimes of the time (Ontarian liberalism and Quebecois Nationalism) impacted the anti-draft movements in Quebec and Ontario, focusing specifically on Toronto and Montreal.

Isn't that interesting!

Anyways. I recently began knitting and crocheting again after a period of half finished projects. I mean, hell, I'm still surrounding by half started projects with a ton of awesome patterns that I need to finish but you know me. I have to do everything at once! So this is the result:

So. Many. Hats.


I don't understand how I suddenly ended up with so many hats. It's mildly ridiculous.

But yes, I started knitting again and because I have an artistically inclined friend who persuaded me to do a craft swap.

so I got a pair of her custom made Octopus earrings (which I can't find right now but I'm sure they'll turn up soon enough...I hope...I really liked them. They were purple. And adorable. And so damn wearable! She also disappeared off facebook. Her page, not her. Oh well) in exchange for this:

Minion Hat biches. Yes, that is Biches and not Bi***s. I'm teaching myself to swear less. Also Jack Douglass. Awesome.
Oh, and here is a link to her facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/AlexcgArtsCrafts?fref=ts . She's kind of awesome.

So yes, that was my first minion hat. It is knitted and it's a basic hat knit on two straight needles (I am slowly becoming a seaming boss) whilst taking inspiration from Despicable Me. In the finished version, there is a band of blue crocheted around the bottom (the hat was a little bit short...) and a black pom pom to look like the minions' scant hair.

Pretty simple pattern: cast on 70 stitches, 4-6 rows K2, P2 in BLUE YARN, then Stockinette stitch (knit one row, purl one row) until hat measure 5 inches from beginning in YELLOW YARN. For those of you with bigger heads out there (i.e ME) you can extend this to 7 inches. Worst comes to worst you just roll up the brim. better to have a bigger hat than one that's too small! But if it doesn't fit it will definitely make other people happy. After you've completed the required number of inches, begin your decrease rows on KNIT ROWS ONLY. I found out what happens when you decrease on a purl row. It's not pretty.

Typical decrease:

*K8, K2tog* to the end of the row
Purl one row
K7, K2tog, to the end of the row
Purl one row

Continue in this way for 6 more rows (knitting one fewer stitch each row) until you reach the K2tog* to the end of row row. There should be 6-14 stitches on your needle depending on how many stitches you cast on. Cut your yarn, thread it through the remaning stitches and pull tight. weave in your ends, mattress stitch your seam and voila! A beautiful minion hat.

I crocheted the eye using basic in-the-round method. Google it. Oh and don't forget to add a black stripe to your hat while knitting to make the goggle band.

This was my second minion hat. As you can see, it turned out much nicer than the first. Also, I actually knit the blue part XD
The next hat I found myself with was a pattern from Interweave Crochet. My sister got me a subscription last year and I kind of love her for it. Though I'm mad that they only publish four issues a year >:(

Here's the "beaver lake hat"
Sorry, I'm not posting the pattern because it's copyrighted and I don't want to get sued. Look it up. I'm sure someone else is more soulless than me

And finally, my personal favorite, my ridiculously comfy turquoise beanie! I was at Espace Tricot with my ridiculously tall friend Ivan (I have a friend named Ivan now. I think my life is complete) and we found this super thick super comfy super everything yarn (bright turquoise. it was gorgeous). Unfortunately it was so high up even he couldn't reach it :S A
So...yeah. Thus ended my mad hat rampage for the moment. I still have two more I need to make but I don't REALLY feel like starting. The first one is a simple black beanie for a friend of mine and the other is a striped hat though I'm not sure what colors he would like yet (Yes Ivan, I am talking about you). Also I'm pretty sure that I need to make another Jayne hat but I really don't feel like it. It's not like the hat took me long to make. I just...don't like knitting -_-

The future will hold a plethora of papers that need writing so I will probably disappear for even longer than before. But, till then:

May the stars guide your journey. 

Also, if Yoda says to Luke "May the force be with you" then the dot product of The Force and Luke is a positive number. 

#mathgeekery