Tuesday, December 25, 2012

So it's Christmas, already

I have several options here.

The first is to get sentimental and talk about why christmas is so great and how it's a holiday full of love and happiness and oh god, I feel sick from the feels. Unfortunately I don't care enough about christmas to even capitalize the C so this will not happen.

I could also drone on and on about the fact that there is evidence to suggest that Christ wasn't even born on the 25th of December but rather in late March and that the reason we celebrate christmas in December is to coincide with ancient roman pagan holiday of Saturnalia. But since you probably don't want a mental image of cavorting romans in your minds, I won't talk about this either.

Maybe I could rant about christmas movies and how terrible they are (except for Love, Actually. That is a beautiful, beautiful movie and New Year's Eve and Valentine's Day are cheap rip-offs. Shame on you Hollywood).

No, today is the day to talk about...Um... I don't actually know what to talk about. Hannukkah's over, I don't celebrate Christmas, I don't want to bore you with details of my end of year marks and the great big NOTHINGs I'm doing over winter break so...I think I'll just leave you with this:

Saturnalia was a week long celebration from December 17th to the 23rd, complete with gift-giving, legal gambling, table service for slaves (yippee!) and orgies. Because no ancient festival is complete without orgies. And just remember that venereal diseases ran rampant due to the complete lack of antibiotics. Doctors were less like Dr Cohen at the Jewish General and more like the Dentist in "Little Shop of Horrors" so you were most likely dead if you ever got sick. And with that cheery thought, I leave you.

Merry Christmas everyone. Don't forget to get yourself checked after new year's.

No comments:

Post a Comment