Friday, November 15, 2013

9-Letters to My Classmates, Whom I Hate

To that annoying woman in my Canadian History class, 

I've spoken to you once, I believe. You seem like a nice person. A little annoyingly alternative and against the grain for seemingly no reason, but we were able to have a pretty normal conversation. I have a question for you now: 

Why do you keep raising your hand in class when you have nothing interesting to say? 

Look, I understand that Canadian history is beyond boring but good god woman, just keep your goddamn hand on the desk. I can't stand hearing you go '," for three minutes before you actually start using your words. I for one actually enjoy listening to the prof rant about the economic history of the lumber trade and I don't need  you to put in your two cents that Cedar was also traded because WHO CARES Everyone knows that pine was a hot commodity so just leave it at that! You don't need to take five minutes of class time to explain that cedar was a luxury item when, chances are, it's not even going to be on the test! And that debate we had on the first day of class? Eurocentricity vs Native-centric way of teaching? You said something so redundant I haven't stopped making fun of you in my head since. Every time you raise your hand I want to pull my hair out. 

Okay, now that I've gotten that off my chest I feel a lot better. 

Please, just stop beginning your sentences with an endless supply of "ums". That's all I ask. 

Sincerely- wait, no no, put your hand down,

Three rows behind and seven seats to the left

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