Introducing: The Holiday Collections

Now that I've officially accepted my NaBloPoMo Certificate of Defeat (I suppose it just wasn't meant to be) and my PhD in Procrastination (I guess I'll just try again next year), I spent the past two days holed up in  my bedroom crafting and crafting, making earrings for the annual Marianopolis Holiday Bazaar (proud to say I've been there since it's inauguration so the coordinator of student life was pretty chill with having me come back despite the fact that I don't even go to Mario anymore #perks ).

Unfortunately, I had run out of earring hooks on saturday night (problematic because the bulk of my jewelry is earrings) and then on Sunday I discovered that the mini-max where I stock up on packs of earring hooks for a dollar each (100 pcs per pack, a god send) and that they don't sell findings at the Dollar Store, I had to wait until monday before I could complete these projects. So I trekked to Omer DeSerres (the only thing you should be buying at this store is anything with a kids-project brand name like Crayola or Fimo; SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL ART STORES). The only reason I went to Omer DeSerres is because the bead store near my house, Chaton Beads, disappeared. This was also problematic because this is where I purchase the bulk of my supplies. I usually wait until their 50% off sales and then buy 80$ worth of stuff, and Omer DeSerres is REALLY expensive. Seriously, packs of 100 earring hooks for 8 bucks? What a rip-off! But there are actually no more bead stores in Westmount (except for B.E.A.D It and the people who own that store don't really like me for some reason, plus everything is over-priced and they don't often sell things in bulk and if they do they're similar in price to Omer DeSerres). Anyway, so I finally replenished my supply of gold and silver earring hooks, gift boxes, bead caps, and varnish and am properly equipped for Thursday!

So, I know that I already posted some photos of some of the things I'll be selling, but yesterday I made some truly lovely crystal earrings and I just can't wait to share them with you, and I also began compartmentalizing my jewelry into collections (like the pros!!) because some of it just fits together so damn nicely. So, without further ado and no more gilding the lily, I present:

The Crystal Collection features colorful, elegant and funky crystalline earrings made with glass and genuine swarovski elements (tm) crystals, as well as gold and black silver earring hooks. Perfect to "bling" in the new year in style or simply as a colorful statement when paired with a subtle outfit- $10.00 ea.

The Green Dream Collection features an array of earthy earrings with natural green stone beads as their focus, coupled with glass, shell, and mother-of-pearl in varying shades of brown as well as gold and silver accents. The Green Dream drop earrings are a chic pairing with the en-vogue shades of today-$5.00 ea.

The Je Ne Sais Quoi Collection displays the earrings that don't really go with the other collections. These are the earrings made with a wider range of materials (glass, silver, crystal, plastic, glass coated plastic, gold, silver, shell) in each earring. Whereas most pieces try to limit the number of materials used in each one (eg. crystal only, or natural stone and shell), the Je Ne Sais Quoi's goal is to use as many mediums as possible in each earring, creating a range of jewelry sure to satisfy any magpie-$5.00-$7.00 ea.

Please note that all of the collections are in their early stages and incomplete and that I pulled the descriptions of them out from where the sun don't shine. My origami earring collection has yet to be photographed so I will update this post when I get the chance to take some photos (probably on thursday as my canadian history exam is calling to me: COME STUDY OR YOU'LL FAIL DAMNIT)

Calling? Yelling is more like it.

12-Returning to our Roots: This is a Craft Blog After All

I definitely strayed pretty far from my original intent with this blog; a craft blog, a blog dedicated to presenting the world with the weird things I make. I don't know if you heard, but I was invited back to the annual Marianopolis Holiday Bazaar (despite not actually being a student there trololol) so just to pique your interest, here are some sneak peaks as to what I'll be selling (also check out my pro photography skills. They're new)

Natural stone and shell beads in earthy tones: $5.00

Natural stone, shell, and mother of pearl earrings: $5.00

Glass coated beads, silver chain tassel earrings: $5.00

Yeah, most of the beaded earrings are $5.00. 

A new style of origami earrings (also white cranes!! woahahhh!!): $12.50

So, there you have it. Just a sneak peak of some of the things on sale for the holidays. Check out my facebook page for more photos and merch!

9-Letters to My Classmates, Whom I Hate

To that annoying woman in my Canadian History class, 

I've spoken to you once, I believe. You seem like a nice person. A little annoyingly alternative and against the grain for seemingly no reason, but we were able to have a pretty normal conversation. I have a question for you now: 

Why do you keep raising your hand in class when you have nothing interesting to say? 

Look, I understand that Canadian history is beyond boring but good god woman, just keep your goddamn hand on the desk. I can't stand hearing you go 'ah..um..okay, well...um..." for three minutes before you actually start using your words. I for one actually enjoy listening to the prof rant about the economic history of the lumber trade and I don't need  you to put in your two cents that Cedar was also traded because WHO CARES Everyone knows that pine was a hot commodity so just leave it at that! You don't need to take five minutes of class time to explain that cedar was a luxury item when, chances are, it's not even going to be on the test! And that debate we had on the first day of class? Eurocentricity vs Native-centric way of teaching? You said something so redundant I haven't stopped making fun of you in my head since. Every time you raise your hand I want to pull my hair out. 

Okay, now that I've gotten that off my chest I feel a lot better. 

Please, just stop beginning your sentences with an endless supply of "ums". That's all I ask. 

Sincerely- wait, no no, put your hand down,

Three rows behind and seven seats to the left

1-Nablopomo: Sounds kind of like a venereal disease...

No, it's not a disease contracted in the amazon via infected mosquitoes or some such other nasty critters.

Today I take up the National Blog Posting Month challenge: 30 blog posts in 30 days. Which means I'm already 4 days behind. 

Shit. 

For those of you who are not aware, November is--along with don't-shave-the-caterpillar-growing-above-your-snazzle-tooth-month--National Novel Writing Month. However, as I have attempted NaNoWriMo every year for the past half-decade and ended up with slightly less hair as well as several half-finished novels, and also due to the fact that I am no longer capable of writing creative fiction and have turned into a full time blogger, I feel that my time would be better spent blogging rather than attempting to write a 50 000 word plot-less novel. Seriously, I have no idea what to write about. I was actually considering just attempting to write a harlequin romance but I couldn't bring myself to stoop to that level. You should actually check out the submission guidelines for Harlequin (C) romance novels. They're hilarious. 

But I digress. 

So, the Nablopomo pandemic has affected some 2000 bloggers across North America, no doubt rising out of the need for a blog-related contest where we don't have to reach a word limit. No one gives Ernest Hemingway a word limit, so why should bloggers have one?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Six-Word_Memoirs

The point, dear readers, is that National Blog Posting Month allows bloggers like myself to not only needlessly post our thoughts and rants and ravings online for all to see but also feel a sense of accomplishment within our pointless blogger lifestyle. Blogging is kind of a pointless act. You write something, you post it online; it no longer belongs to you. If it's a great piece of writing and you want to submit it to a journal/magazine/newspaper/paying blog, you can't. The moment it hits the internet it belongs to Big Brother. This is problematic but also avoidable. Just don't post beautiful blog posts if you want recognition for it damnit! So the challenge to write 30 posts in 30 days kind of gives us (well, me in particular) a similar sense of accomplishment that comes from writing a novel in a month. From what I've read, most bloggers don't post every day. It's hard to come up with that much content. Creativity is hard work, okay??

So, here I am. It's 11:21pm on a drearily cold Montreal night. I'm listening to The Wailin' Jennys, bundled like a child about to run outside in the snow because for some reason the heat just turned off and it's 65 degrees Fahrenheit in my house (who did that???), I'm sick, I have a sore throat, and I'm about to embark on a journey of 1000 miles that begins with a blog post. 

This blog post in fact. 

I'll make you a deal; stick with me and I'll try not to bore you too much. Maybe I'll make you sigh in frustration, maybe I'll make cry with mirth, I may even piss you off with my insane ravings, but one thing is for sure:

This is going to be fucking difficult. 

Wish me luck!

A Call to Arms: Accept the Hit and Run Challenge!

Say you're sitting in the lobby of your school's building by yourself, back against a wall, hunched over a laptop. You have a rather dour expression on your face; you're supposed to be finishing an essay due in two hours but you've been procrastinating for the past while by watching reruns of a shiny new television show that you've just discovered to be incredibly amusing and much more entertaining than the prospect of writing a 2000 word essay. You take a final bite of your seaweed salad and let the delicious, savory taste of sesame oil and soy sauce wash over your taste buds. You cough loudly (you've been sick for a week or so now). A shadow passes over you and you look up. Somebody is standing over you, late forties or early fifties, not terribly hostile or creepy-looking, perfectly harmless. 

"Bless you" he says, and smiles. Not one to be rude, you smile back. You're Canadian, you're polite. 

"Thank you," you say, and turn back to the laptop. Aand that's when they say something formulaic. It usually comes in three parts:

Part 1 is typically a comment on your smile, such as: You have a beautiful smile OR You're beautiful when you smile 

Part 2 is typically some sort of gung-ho saying that affirms your suspicion that this person might not be completely with it, such as "Your life will be beautiful if you smile"

Part 3 will then re-iterate what has just been said, possibly in exactly the same words just used. Often the speaker might not have completely mastered the art of perfect diction so you're at a loss for what has just been said but you know that it was nice, albeit a little bit creepy, though altogether a decent enough experience.

Yeah, this happens to me a lot.

These moments, flashpoints of communication, are what I like to call "Hit and Runs". Someone appears out of nowhere, makes an impact, and then vanishes, leaving you to feel a variety of emotions. Perhaps you're confused, concerned for their well-being, or depressed that you can't get the same attentions from an attractive member of the opposite sex (or same sex, whichever way you swing). Or maybe this experience has left you feeling like a better person, or at least a happier person, knowing that they singled you out to tell you something that you can choose to ignore or take to the heart. If this ever happens to you, don't just forget about it. Smiling can make you a more beautiful person; people gravitate towards happy people. Don't be that person lurking in the corner looking like you need a hug but will bite someones head off if approached (been there, done that). 

Maybe whoever approached you has a few screws loose, but it takes a lot of courage to go up to a complete stranger and tell them something that you admire about them. You can't always hide behind your cell-phone's touch pad or your computer screen. Make it your goal to complement one perfect stranger everyday, whether it's that girl with the multi-colored hair or the technician at the reference desk with the hand-made safety-pin jewelry. You may not know if, but people treasure these hit and run moments. If you can brighten someone's day at a moment's notice, why wouldn't you go out there and do it? 

Get out from behind the text-facade. Lower the shield of online-anonymity, get out there, and start complementing! If you're shy, this can only be a step in the right direction. Challenge yourself to complement three people a week. Then up that to one person a day, or two, or three, or every person that you pass!! You love their shirt; they must have great taste in music. Wow, your hair is amazing! Is that your natural color?

And, my personal favorite: Just go up to someone and tell them they're beautiful. Just try it, see what happens. 

"Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more!...

The game's afoot:

Follow your spirit, and upon this charge
Cry 'God for Harry, England, and Saint George!"

So go! Find some people to compliment! Accept the hit and run challenge!

Ommm Shanti Shanti Shantiii: An Adventure with Yoga Mat Bags

Greetings readers! It has been far too long since I have written a blog post about crocheting (you know, that thing that I do where I try to supplement my income by selling you handmade stuffs and it often doesn't work out but who cares I love crocheting!)

The school year is almost over (summer school, I will annihilate you), technically I've already graduated and I'm off to university in the fall.

Wow, okay that's terrifying. The terror hasn't quite sunk in yet but I"m sure that at some point halfway through the summer when I'm still hunting for a job it'll hit me like a bus in the street in Mean Girls and then I'll start freaking out.

Till then, let's talk handicrafting! Well, first I"m going to explain my divergence from craft blog to quasi-journalist-ish blog. I spent the year as executive editor (muahahahah) of my school's newspaper, The Papercut. It essentially consisted of me sitting in a chair that squeaked with the slightest movement (I"m fairly certain someone kept saying they'd bring in a can of WD-40 but that never happened. And so the squeaky chairs will become the stuff of legends as they are passed from one generation of Papercut execs to the next!). I also edited articles. You know, I do that sometimes. There was a surprising amount of bad writing coming from a school that is fairly picky about who they admit. One would think that solid writing would be a dealbreaker but NO. IT'S GRADES GRADES GRADES AT MARIANOPOLIS. WELL SAYONARA CEGEP.

I'll miss you.... Just a little bit.

A very little bit...

So the point I'm trying to make is that I didn't really have that much time to do a lot of crafts after the craft fair (I think I forgot to make a post about that...Oh well. Another time) and instead I focused my writing energy on newspaper articles rather than crafty blog posts because I started actually thinking about society and the world and I wanted to write movie and restaurant reviews and talk about the effects of the internet and fandoms on teenage girls and it spun wildly out of control and ohmygodit'shappeningagain-

But now I'm back, calmly sipping tea and enjoying the taste of freedom (it tastes like shortbread cookies and Nasonex). Yes, I'm also very sick. But that's okay! My summer school paper on overdiagnosing boys with ADHD is almost finished (2/3 of the way done woohoo!!) and so, with that, I think I am entitled to a little bit of creative freedom.

Om Shanti Shanti Yoga Mat Bag:

So, my two sisters are very into yoga. So much so that they needed yoga mat bags because they had to shlep their own yoga mats to their classes (apparently despite the fact that they clean yoga mats at gyms it's better to bring your own. Makes a certain amount of sense I suppose...). Being the handicrafter that I am, my elder sister asked me to make her a crocheted bag that looked very sturdy and had a zipper.

It also involved crocheting a base chain of 270+ stitches. Hell naw.

So I found a simpler pattern that was crocheted in the round, made some adjustments, and here we have the Om Shanti Shanti Yoga Mat Bag!

 

 

 What's nice about this pattern is that it is 100% customizable from the diameter and circumference of the bag to its height. Just add a couple rounds of increases at the base to make it wider or stop crocheting in the round to make it shorter. The strap was slightly problematic as I made it too long (a. my sister is really tiny so it didn't need to be that long to begin with, and b. it stretched out. 100% cotton does that sometimes). So for the second time around, when my other sister asked for one, it was more colorful, more tightly crocheted, and I worked the strap directly into the body of the bag instead of sewing it on afterwards.

The result? Durability, functionality, and sturdiness. And prettiness. It's really pretty :)

Materials:

-Crochet hook size 4.5
-A LOT of 100% cotton (I used Bernat Handicrafter Cotton. We had a HUGE skein of the Ombres--the brown stuff and purple stuff-- and the first yoga mat bag used almost all of the brown)---The brown is called "Terra Firma", the purple is um...discontinued or just not on their website. Awkward. The second bag also used a full skein of "French Blue" and the dark green that isn't on their website either...
-Extra 3 meters of cotton yarn
-A Yoga Mat (I suppose you don't technically need one. I make them and I don't own one...)

You can find a simple pattern here at Joyful Abode (this is the pattern I used for the first bag I made. However, I have since written my own pattern so that I can sell my creations).

Abbreviations (still not wondering why that word is so damn long):
-sc: single crochet
-dc: double crochet
-sl st: slip stitch
-ch: chain
-st/sts: stitch or stitches
-fpd: front post double crochet
-bpd: back post double crochet

Instructions:

Base:

1. Make a magic loop. See here if you don't know how to make a magic loop.
2. Make 8 dc into the ring. Pull it closed. Sl st to join.
3. Ch 3 (this counts as first dc). 2 dc in each dc. Sl st to join. 16 st.
4. Ch 3 (still your first dc). 2 dc in each dc. Sl st to join. 32 st.
5. Ch 3 (is that in your head yet?) 2 dc in first st, 1 dc in next st. **2 dc in next st, 1 dc in next st. Repeat from **around. Sl st to join. 48 st.
6. Ch 3 (got it?). 2 dc in first st, 1 dc in next 3 sts. **2 dc in next st, 1 dc in next 3 sts. Repeat from **around. Sl st to join. 60 st.

Right now your cirlce should be around the same size as your rolled up yoga mat. This is good.

Body of Bag:

7. Ch 1 (woah, we're switching things up a bit). Sc in back loop only around. I did back loop and the loop just underneath for stability. The point of this round is to make a noticeable 90 degree angle and a decorative line around it. Sl st to join. 60 st.
8. Ch 3 (still your first dc). Dc in each sc from previous round. Sl st to join. 60 st.
9. Ch 3 (first dc). Dc in the space between each dc from previous round, so not in the little V the stitch makes, but just to the left of it (between the posts). It creates a bit of a zig zag pattern that I think adds some flair.

Repeat round 9 until your bag is just shorter than your mat. If you're adding colors, crochet over the ends so you don't have to weave them in.

Ribbing and Drawstring:

Ch 3. Alternate fpd and bpd with one of each st in each dc from the previous row for ribbed effect. Repeat for 5 rounds.

See a tutorial for front-post dc and back-post dc here

Strap:

Double up your yarn. Tightness is key here. Pick a spot one inch away from the bottom of your bag, three dc away from your seam. Work 7 sc across (one in each post of a dc). Turn. 1 sc into each sc from previous row. Continue sc across until your strap is two inches longer than your bag (it will stretch). Work your last row into your bag, below the ribbing. Tie off. 

Finally, chain doubled up length of yarn till it's slightly longer than the circumference of your bag, weave it through the ribbing and voila! A lovely new yoga mat bag perfect for shlepping to the park, to the gym, to your friend's house, downtown after a class, etc... No more boring chafing yoga mat bags :)

Enjoy!

Cumberbitches vs Cumberbabes: Life Outside the Internet

Watch out, internet: the Sherlock (BBC) fandom is on the rampage!

In a recent development, the previously-called "Cumberbitches" (female fans of Benedict Cumberbatch) have petitioned, rallied, taken to the street-

I don't actually know if they did any of these things. All I know is that they have changed the face of the Cumberbatch fandom from Cumberbitches to..wait for it....Cumberbabes.

Ok...

I understand why they would want to make this change: Cumberbitch is a little crass. Most people don't really like being referred to as a bitch in any situation. However, in a recent interaction with some friends on facebook, this happened:

You have to admit, Cumberbitch is pretty funny.

Not the point.

We have reached a point today where people get so wrapped up in their fandoms (Whovians, Gleeks, Cumberbabes/bitches, Trekkers, Big Bangers-wow that sounds wrong-, etc..) that they forget to see the humor in them and focus to much on how they as a collective are perceived. Yes, Cumberbitch is crass, but how is Cumberbabe any better? Instead of invoking images of bitchy women they are perceived as sexy babes. Which is worse? And more than that, what is the difference outside the ether of the internet?

Fandoms are out there so that people can enjoy television shows, books, movies, etc.. together online by sharing theories, trivia, fan fiction, memes, and spoilers. Yes, it's a lot of fun. I have heard about 12 different theories as to who exactly Clara Oswald is and the range of imagination these fans exert is absolutely incredible. However, it stops being fun when it's all someone can talk about in person. I understand the implications of this online: it's easier to share all of this on the internet, with "reblog" buttons at the click of the mouse.

The point I'm trying to make is that people need to take a step back from their, dare I say it, obsessions. People who say things like "have you seen my timeline recently? it is literally nothing but Sherlock and Doctor Who. it is so beyond okay" only propagate the obsession since, because it is so easily acceptable, we don't see it for what it is: an addiction.

Yes, it is an addiction, and an unhealthy one at that. So before you reblog the next picture of Nine and Ten (Doctors) on Facebook, stop for a moment. Why are you reblogging this on facebook? Why are you reblogging it at all? To share with people who do not share your enjoyment? Why is it so hard to simply look at the picture, laugh, cry, do whatever you do, and then move on?

Cumberbitch vs Cumberbabe: why do you seek to erase your identity and join this collective of fellow obsessors? We live in a society of striking individualism; it makes sense to be yourself and be proud of that. So be proud of your participating in the Sherlock fandom. But don't let it get in the way of living your life outside the internet.

We Saw Your Boobs: A Night at the Oscars with Seth Macfarlane

Yeah, yeah, I know the Oscars have long since been over. But I wrote this piece for my school's paper and forgot to post it here too. Enjoy!

For those of you who missed the broadcast of the 85^th Academy Awards, I have to say that you missed out this year. In a nice turnaround from last year’s Oscar hosts (despite Anne Hathaway’s charm, we’re fairly certain that James Franco was not entirely corpus mentus), the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences snagged Seth Macfarlane (Family Guy, Ted, American Dad) to host this year’s Oscars ceremony.

Aside from the overlong intro featuring William Shatner as an octogenarian Captain James T. Kirk, Macfarlane proved he was more than a comic writer and performer and impressed viewers with his song and dance numbers. From his solo about actresses showing their breasts on camera (“We Saw Your Boobs” sparking debate from feminists near and far) to the trio with Daniel Radcliffe and Joseph Gordon-Levitt (he can sing too apparently), he opened the Oscars with the pomp and lavishness expected of a good Oscar opener.

Luckily this year, the presenters skipped and preened their way quickly, though drunkenly, through the myriad of awards (Christopher Plummer really convinced us all that he truly had been perpetually drunk on the set of The Sound of Music). The three hours passed much more quickly than they had in past years. Macfarlane, though lewd at times, was a charismatic and quirky Oscar host. Despite his tasteless jab at Quvenzhane Wallis and George Clooney, Macfarlane did the Academy Awards justice (though he’s no Hugh Jackman of course…)

So it's Christmas, already

I have several options here.

The first is to get sentimental and talk about why christmas is so great and how it's a holiday full of love and happiness and oh god, I feel sick from the feels. Unfortunately I don't care enough about christmas to even capitalize the C so this will not happen.

I could also drone on and on about the fact that there is evidence to suggest that Christ wasn't even born on the 25th of December but rather in late March and that the reason we celebrate christmas in December is to coincide with ancient roman pagan holiday of Saturnalia. But since you probably don't want a mental image of cavorting romans in your minds, I won't talk about this either.

Maybe I could rant about christmas movies and how terrible they are (except for Love, Actually. That is a beautiful, beautiful movie and New Year's Eve and Valentine's Day are cheap rip-offs. Shame on you Hollywood).

No, today is the day to talk about...Um... I don't actually know what to talk about. Hannukkah's over, I don't celebrate Christmas, I don't want to bore you with details of my end of year marks and the great big NOTHINGs I'm doing over winter break so...I think I'll just leave you with this:

Saturnalia was a week long celebration from December 17th to the 23rd, complete with gift-giving, legal gambling, table service for slaves (yippee!) and orgies. Because no ancient festival is complete without orgies. And just remember that venereal diseases ran rampant due to the complete lack of antibiotics. Doctors were less like Dr Cohen at the Jewish General and more like the Dentist in "Little Shop of Horrors" so you were most likely dead if you ever got sick. And with that cheery thought, I leave you.

Merry Christmas everyone. Don't forget to get yourself checked after new year's.

COPYRIGHT INFRINGMENT

In response to the new facebook guidelines, I hereby declare that my copyright of the Dictatorship of the Democratic Republic of El-Baba is attached to all my personal details. Touch my shit and die, fuckers!

Anyone reading this CANNOT copy and paste it on their Facebook Wall (TM) because it will be in direct violation of the aforementioned copyright. By the present communique, I hereby notify Facebook that it is strictly forbidden to disclose, disseminate, discombobulate, defenestrate or take any action against me as I have immunity from such measures. The violation of my privacy is punishable by law 7b of the Geneva Convention, Treaty 4, and the Constitution of the Dictatorship of the Democratic Republic of El-Baba (as well as whatever laws Facebook manages to pull out of its ass).

Facebook is now the enemy. All members wishing to rise up with me should post a notice like this. All citizens of the DDREB are required by law to post a notice like this. Non-compliance with this order will result in your immediate dispatch. IF you do not post a notice like this, you will be allowing facebook to enter your mind and brainwash you as you sleep.

You have been warned...

Draft Dodgers and Mutated Daleks. And minions. And hats!

No, this is not a Doctor Who reference for once (in terms of me going on and on about the latest episode). In fact, it is due to a study session to which I was witness this morning. I have discovered that watching my friends in Arts and Sciences (one of the more grueling programs one will find in CEGEP) cram for an exam is much more entertaining than my Shakespearean english class where we talk about sex in Romeo and Juliet because, having re-read it after 4 years of deciding that I hated the play, it has been decided that the play is, indeed, about nothing but sex! And also that I still hate it. It is still a long, drawn out, hilarious tragedy that loses its flair about halfway through act three.

Also, I'm writing a history paper about draft dodgers during the Vietnam war who came to Canada. And no, it is not a judgemental piece where I condemn draft-age men for fleeing the draft because that would be silly. I don't really care one way or the other. What I do care about is how they were treated once they made it over the border (makes it sound like some huge ordeal where you have to leap tall buildings and crawl under barbed wire. Though according to The Manual for Draft Age Immigrants it kind of it). The paper will be dealing with how the social regimes of the time (Ontarian liberalism and Quebecois Nationalism) impacted the anti-draft movements in Quebec and Ontario, focusing specifically on Toronto and Montreal.

Isn't that interesting!

Anyways. I recently began knitting and crocheting again after a period of half finished projects. I mean, hell, I'm still surrounding by half started projects with a ton of awesome patterns that I need to finish but you know me. I have to do everything at once! So this is the result:

So. Many. Hats.


I don't understand how I suddenly ended up with so many hats. It's mildly ridiculous.

But yes, I started knitting again and because I have an artistically inclined friend who persuaded me to do a craft swap.

so I got a pair of her custom made Octopus earrings (which I can't find right now but I'm sure they'll turn up soon enough...I hope...I really liked them. They were purple. And adorable. And so damn wearable! She also disappeared off facebook. Her page, not her. Oh well) in exchange for this:

Minion Hat biches. Yes, that is Biches and not Bi***s. I'm teaching myself to swear less. Also Jack Douglass. Awesome.

Oh, and here is a link to her facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/AlexcgArtsCrafts?fref=ts . She's kind of awesome.

So yes, that was my first minion hat. It is knitted and it's a basic hat knit on two straight needles (I am slowly becoming a seaming boss) whilst taking inspiration from Despicable Me. In the finished version, there is a band of blue crocheted around the bottom (the hat was a little bit short...) and a black pom pom to look like the minions' scant hair.

Pretty simple pattern: cast on 70 stitches, 4-6 rows K2, P2 in BLUE YARN, then Stockinette stitch (knit one row, purl one row) until hat measure 5 inches from beginning in YELLOW YARN. For those of you with bigger heads out there (i.e ME) you can extend this to 7 inches. Worst comes to worst you just roll up the brim. better to have a bigger hat than one that's too small! But if it doesn't fit it will definitely make other people happy. After you've completed the required number of inches, begin your decrease rows on KNIT ROWS ONLY. I found out what happens when you decrease on a purl row. It's not pretty.

Typical decrease:

*K8, K2tog* to the end of the row
Purl one row
K7, K2tog, to the end of the row
Purl one row

Continue in this way for 6 more rows (knitting one fewer stitch each row) until you reach the K2tog* to the end of row row. There should be 6-14 stitches on your needle depending on how many stitches you cast on. Cut your yarn, thread it through the remaning stitches and pull tight. weave in your ends, mattress stitch your seam and voila! A beautiful minion hat.

I crocheted the eye using basic in-the-round method. Google it. Oh and don't forget to add a black stripe to your hat while knitting to make the goggle band.

This was my second minion hat. As you can see, it turned out much nicer than the first. Also, I actually knit the blue part XD

The next hat I found myself with was a pattern from Interweave Crochet. My sister got me a subscription last year and I kind of love her for it. Though I'm mad that they only publish four issues a year >:(

Here's the "beaver lake hat"

Sorry, I'm not posting the pattern because it's copyrighted and I don't want to get sued. Look it up. I'm sure someone else is more soulless than me

And finally, my personal favorite, my ridiculously comfy turquoise beanie! I was at Espace Tricot with my ridiculously tall friend Ivan (I have a friend named Ivan now. I think my life is complete) and we found this super thick super comfy super everything yarn (bright turquoise. it was gorgeous). Unfortunately it was so high up even he couldn't reach it :S A

So...yeah. Thus ended my mad hat rampage for the moment. I still have two more I need to make but I don't REALLY feel like starting. The first one is a simple black beanie for a friend of mine and the other is a striped hat though I'm not sure what colors he would like yet (Yes Ivan, I am talking about you). Also I'm pretty sure that I need to make another Jayne hat but I really don't feel like it. It's not like the hat took me long to make. I just...don't like knitting -_-

The future will hold a plethora of papers that need writing so I will probably disappear for even longer than before. But, till then:

May the stars guide your journey. 

Also, if Yoda says to Luke "May the force be with you" then the dot product of The Force and Luke is a positive number. 

#mathgeekery

Buchstabieren Sie, bitte

Ja, ich studiere Deutsch an meine Schule!

And that, friends, was done entirely without Google Translate! Yup, I am taking a course in German this year (FINALLY!) and I have to say, it is definitely one of the more entaining classes I have ever undertaken. Having spent 5 years singing songs in German and finally being able to understand what they mean is definitely funtimes. Especially since I get to laugh along with everyone when we hear atrociously bad accents! It's the best.

So, German aside,it has been one rather fantastic weekend...aside from the fact that I am sick. Yup, it's official. It's not from a lack of sleep: I am certifiably ill. The perils of playing Ticket to Ride, Munchkin, Chrononauts and Fluxx until 2 in the morning with an ill host...and then not getting enough sleep and eating too much pizza.

I will bet you that you haven't heard of a single one of these games (unless of course you're a friend of mine reading this and I've blabbed about them to you). 

But now that I am better, I am pleased to announce that I fully enjoyed myself at comic con this year! In fact, here's an article that I wrote about it!

Montreal Comic Con 2012
"Priori-Incanfandom"

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I stood in line with hundreds of other geeks on a Friday afternoon after four hours of non-stop classes earlier in the day. My bag was heavy, my feet hurt, my head was sweating from the hand-knit hat I was wearing as part of my costume and I was so excited I could barely contain myself. It didn’t matter that the line wasn’t moving, didn’t matter that I had homework piling up at home. This was the 6^th annual Montreal Comic Con and I wasn’t going to miss it for anything. My experience last year had been one of supreme fandom joy, while my inner geek sang and danced with glee. And this year was no different. Not only were there twice as many people (32 000 from last year’s 15 000) but the exhibition hall itself was a sight to behold. Because of the unexpected turnout at last year’s convention at Place Bonaventure (with a turnout of over 15,000 people) the venue had changed to the main exhibition hall at Palais des Congres with almost every single conference room occupied during the convention’s busy schedule. This was also the first time that the convention ran a whole three days.

When the line finally started moving, we made our way surprisingly quickly to the first set of escalators that would bring us to the main hall. We mounted the stairs, suspense building (unfortunately no Star Wars music this year) but the wait was worth every second.

Not only was the main exhibition hall at Palais des Congres enormous, but it contained everything to appease geeks of all shapes and sizes. You’re a Whovian? Say hello to the dozens of artisans selling prints and jewelry, and exhibitors with models of every single Sonic Screwdriver ever made. Portal fan? They had their own table. With plushie Companion Cubes. You spend all your time on ThinkGeek or Jinx? Everything sold on the Internet could be found at Comic Con, including ALL of the t-shirts. Booths selling posters, every single comic book imaginable and hundreds of accessories bedecked with superhero insignias.

And maybe, just maybe, you happen to be a Trekkie? This year’s guests of honor were Captains James Tiberius Kirk and Jean-Luc Piacard, in the flesh. Present at this year’s Comic Con were William Shatner and Sir Patrick Stewart. It was truly a historic moment in Montreal Geekdom, when “Star Trek: Generations” came to life onstage with Shatner, Stewart and a guest appearance by Malcolm McDowell. While I was unable to attend (the panel required an extra ticket), I managed to catch 20 minutes of William Shatner’s panel…before falling asleep listening to him drone about how difficult it is to navigate the Montreal highways.   

Other speakers included about half the cast of Star Trek: The Next Generation, including Brent Spiner, John De Lancie and Wesley Crusher-turned-internet-sensation Will Wheaton, Eddie McClinktock of Bones and Warehouse 13, Laura Vandervoort, Aaron Ashmore and, the reasons I shlepped all my stuff from school on a Friday afternoon, Adam Baldwin and James Marsters.

Adam Baldwin had established his cult following as the gruff and unwashed Jayne Cobb from Joss Whedon’s one-season wonder Firefly and then more recently starred as Colonel John Casey on Chuck, iconicized by his grunt and arsenal of weaponry. However, despite revealing some of the more ridiculous shenanigans on the set of Firefly and Chuck, he refused to sing “The Ballad of Jayne” (The Hero of Canton) for us.

But as hilarious as Adam Baldwin was, the cherry on the proverbial cake was the concert given by James Marsters at the end of the night. He crooned into the microphone, strumming songs about nothing but love, the weather and sex, finishing up with a piece about Michelle Trachtenberg, one of his co-stars in season 5 of Buffy. “One baby, two, maybe three more years, You’ll be a full hot baby, have all your curves, And here’s a little taste of irony, You’ll be a too-hot baby, too good for me” It was a terrible concert and I loved every minute of it.

Comic Con was more than just a science fiction/fantasy convention. It brought people together in a high energy, yet friendly atmosphere. Nowhere else would you feel comfortable stopping a couple dressed as Link and Zelda and begging for a picture; nowhere else would it be permissible for dozens of men to take photos of a girl dressed as a USO girl circa 1940 Captain America style; and nowhere else would you find such a gathering of geeks, gamers, Trekkies, gleeks, gamers, Steampunkers, artists and artisans.

Except at Comic Con. 

And I found the rest of my crew:

Crew of Serenity, from left to right: Kaylee, Simon, Jayne, Jayne, Captain Mal Reynolds and Inara
Firefly cosplay FTW at Montreal Comic Con 2012

So there you have it! Comic Con was a wonderful experience full of all things nerd! 

And did I tell you about the GIANT version of Settlers of Catan?

Oh yeah ;)

Shakespeare and Pseudonyms

I read this article in The Bear and Bull (McGill's student newspaper) yesterday and found it absolutely brilliant. No, I didn't write it, but it's absolutely brilliant anyway.

Credit to the author at the bottom.

Backstory: we received an anonymous article for our school paper (of which I am editor) about being "stuck in the friend zone". A few of us found it mildly ridiculous and thus decided to write a response from "Juliet" as the anonymous writer wanted to be called "Romeo" (which I found to be pretentious and annoying). So there I was, writing my response when my sister showed me this article. I tried to write mine similarly to this one but then decided, to hell with it, I'll just ask the author if I can re-print it in the Papercut (our college paper).

He and his editor said yes! Booyeah!

so, without further ado, here it is:

Misogyny in the Friend Zone

It’s easy to be a feminist on paper, yet the day-to-day actions of many well-meaning men contradict their feminist principles and point to an underlying misogyny. One of the sources of this unconscious misogyny is the infamous “friend zone” and the reaction it sparks in some men, demeaning women in the process.

The main problem with men in the friend zone is their tendency to act as if they’re the victim of some horrible crime. This belief is encapsulated perfectly in one of the many BroTips—cheesy pieces of advice for men lacking common sense— floating around my News Feed: “Ladies, guys are sick of hearing you ask where all of the ‘nice guys’ are. They’re in the friend zone, where you left them.”
Men who buy into the nice guy-asshole binary usually do so based on an experience where they, as seemingly nice guys, were passed over for an asshole, leading them to believe that all women like assholes.

Upholding this narrative demeans women by looking condescendingly upon their choice of sexual partners simply because they aren’t you. By failing to respect the choices women make in their lives, you belittle their intelligence and freewill. It’s bad enough when you do this to one woman, but when you extend this attitude towards all of the women in your life and beyond, the problem becomes far worse. This type of attitude can foster hate towards women, and in our patriarchal society this is the last thing we need. Yet unfortunately, it seems that a major source of violence against women comes exactly from these types of private day-to-day relationships.

In light of this, I’m going to offer some advice to help men escape the nice guy vs. asshole binary, and the hatred it often brings about. First, stop looking at yourselves as nice guys. If your entire friendship with a girl is based upon potentially sleeping with her, you went into the friendship with ulterior motives and thus aren’t nice at all. This is also why I choose to refer to the “friend zone” as the “no sex zone”; she may look at you as a friend, but you certainly don’t look at her like that. So when she inevitably rejects you and tells you she just wants to be friends, I can promise you won’t be.
Second, stop believing you’re perfect. Too many guys have a hard time recognizing the reason(s) why a girl doesn’t like them. Instead of looking at themselves and wondering why they didn’t get the girl, they just blame it on assholes and the girls who love them. Maybe you and her just didn’t click, maybe you weren’t being the best version of you, or maybe you just said the wrong things. Whatever the reason, something did go wrong, and you should figure out why, instead of blaming the girl or the entire female population.

Finally, be honest with yourself. If you can’t be just friends with her, remove yourself. If you want to sleep with her, don’t try to bullshit being “friends” with her. This will help you develop more authentic friendships and save yourself the bitterness and hate you may experience in the “no sex zone.” Guys, stop complaining and start thinking. The women in your life will appreciate it and you may also find yourself in the “no sex zone” a lot less often.

Written by: Davide Mastracci

As you can tell, that's a much higher level of writing than I will attain in my journalism career but it's okay. Because it's awesome!

I will save my rants about friend-zoning for a later date.

Nerf guns and Ballads

Like I said, two blog posts in one day! This hasn't been seen since last year! Holy moly!

Alright, that's quite enough exclamation points. Down to business:

My latest blog post proclaims that I finally have a job. Unfortunately, I was fired last week. Call it insubordination, call it being friendly with hapless American tourists (I love American tourists. They're funny. French tourists are snobs. I do not like them. It's not 'un p'tit bol' it's UN COUPE EN PLASTIQUE OSTI.)
But yes, I was fired. Still not 100% sure why, but I know it had something to do with the fact that it was very difficult for me to arrive on time... At least my boss was nice about it.

MOVING ON:

SCHOOL: has started...finally. Despite this being the BEST SUMMER EVER (yes, Anthony you had something to do with that) I had been sitting around (well, standing around behind a counter) counting the days until I made my triumphant return to college. And triumphant it has been! Not only do I have my own office (Editor in chief of our school's newspaper WUUUT) that is always occupied by awesome people, but I'm taking classes that I want to take (wie geht es dir? <---that's supposed to be said like Joey from Friends) but I actually know people now! It's wonderful! I'm also feeling much more motivated (she writes as she realizes that she hasn't done her math homework...oh yeah, math. The only course I am forced to take...) but I think this is going to be a fantastic year.

DOCTOR WHO: season 7 episode 1 premiered last night. Go watch it. It was awesome. I have been successfully Moffucked. Moving right along to the main point of this post:

My very first Jayne Cobb hat!!

As you haven't been aware, a friend of mine got me on a Firefly kick. For those of you who don't know what Firefly is, I shall explain it to you in her words: "A spaghetti western set in space"

What?

Think Clint Eastwood movies but funnier and set in space. The show stars Nathan Fillion of Castle (I know, he's supremely amazing) and other people who's names don't matter right now because I want to talk about Adam Baldwin!!!

You know, Casey from Chuck? Jayne from Firefly? The guy with a lot of guns.

Yeah, him.

The Hero of Canton (they wrote a song about him too. Look it up on youtube).

This is my portrayal of him:

The Hero of Canton, biches

This is half of my comic con costume this year. And guess what? ADAM BALDWIN IS GOING TO BE THERE!!!!

Anways, so I'm going to brag a bit about the fact that I made both of those hats (they are indeed two different hats on two different people). I hate knitting very much, but these hats were surprisingly painless.

Here's the pattern if you want it:

Yarn: Bernat Softee Chunky (red, orange, yellow-orange)
Needle size: size 8 or 5mm

Cast on 70st with Orange.
Row 1: K2, P2 across
Row 2: P2, K2 across
Repeat for rows 3-6

Row 7: Knit across
Row 8: Purl across

Repeate rows 7 and 8 until your hat measures four inches from the beginning. Switch to Yellow yarn. Continue in stockinette stitch until your piece measures 6 inches from the beginning.

Decrease rows:

1. On Knit side ONLY: k8, k2tog, repeat across row.
2. Purl across
3. K7, k2tog, repeat across
4. Purl
5. K6, k2tog, repeat across
6. Purl

Continue in this way until you reach:

K2tog, repeat across. Cut your yarn (DO NOT BIND OFF), leaving a 6 inch tail. Thread through a yarn needle and thread yarn needle through remaining loops, pull off the knitting needle and pull it tight. Weave in ends.

Starting at the bottom of the piece, using YELLOW yarn, mattress stitch the sides together (google it).

EARFLAPS:

Cast on 14 stitches in RED. stockinette stitch until your ear flaps are an inch and a half shorter than you want them. Decrease starting at K4 then continuing with your decrease rows. Decrease until there are 1-3 stitches left on your needle and bind off. sew flaps on either side of hat and wear with pride!

For a tried and true jayne hat, feel free to add tassels to the bottom of the ear flaps and an orange and yellow pompom!

Great, for some reason my spell check is in french so everything is highlighted in red and I don't know if I'm making any spelling errors...Anyways.

So yes, Adam Baldwin is coming to Montreal for comic con this year but unfortunately I will not be there on the day he is coming :'( But there's going to be a double panel with William Shatner and Patrick Stewart that's going to be awesome! But now that I think about it, can reality handle two generations of Star Trek captains in the same room?

Star Trek: Generations.

Obviously it can.

So Firefly is a great show, Jayne tends to shoot and grunt a lot and Joss Whedon is godly. Though I wanted to hate him when I saw the ending to Serenity (the movie based off the TV show when it got cancelled after one season. CURSE YOU FOX!!)

So, now I'm just waiting for my parents to come home...though I have a suspicion that they're not even coming home tonight and I'm waiting for no particular reason.

Hm... Well then.

"We had to go the crappy planet where I'M  a hero!"

Crunch Time and Tourist Traps

This is literally crunch time. Like, crunching things and all that. Yum yum!

I have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about.

It's 11:44 at night over here, I just worked a 9 hour shift at Les Glaceurs (cupcakes and ice cream) and I'm dead tired, futilely awaiting a phone call that probably won't come (given that I told this person to call after work and they are notorious for not answering texts within the alotted time...not the point).

I wanted that paragraph to sound like something out of "The Lizzie Bennett Diaries" but that didn't work so well.

For all of you wondering what I'm talking about, you can watch the full playlist here:

http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6690D980D8A65D08&feature=plcp

I highly suggest you watch it. It is derived from the Vlogbrother's genius and is utterly wonderful. Not to spoil too much but it's a modern adaptation of Pride and Prejudice told in vlogs and it's quite brilliant. That's a funny looking word...vlogs...hehehe...

Despite the fact that I am currently rambling like an idiot, I do have some news!

1) I HAVE A JOB!

Yes, that is right. One month of  summer school, 46 applications, three interviews and 44 NO's later, I am working at Les Glaceurs in the Old Port. I probably need to give you some background information here.

Alright, I live in a wonderful bustling city called Montreal which is in Quebec which is STILL PART OF CANADA. I live in Canada! Yay Canadians! The Old Port is...just that. It's a port. That is still in use today! But it was founded some time in 1611 as a trading post for the french explorateurs and sort of...stayed. 2 km along the old port, come by with your family and enjoy an ice cream or cookie or trapeze swing along the quay!

Yeah, they have trapeze lessons when the circus come to down. Montreal is kind of awesome? But mostly the old port is a huge tourist trap, full of little cafes and biftheques (steak houses. Wow, we really have our own language here...) and touristy souvenir shops and people dressing up as pirates and explorators.

...

I meant explorers. This is what happens when you work in french! Your french is bad and your english gets worse!

Anyways, Les Glaceurs (The Icers/The Frosters/The Something-ers. It's french. Deal with it) is a little cupcake and ice cream boutique that not only has wonderful cupcakes that I witnessed being made on location but it also sells Bilboquet Ice cream. YAAYYYYYYY! For those of you who have never had bilboquet ice cream, fine yes it's overrated...BUT THE SORBET IS SO GOOD.

Oh, and the reason that I had 44 No's instead of 45 was because I actually was going to be hired at College Pro painters (better use of my time no doubt. Painting houses instead of selling ice cream and cupcakes to people...) and found out on the day that I discovered that I had to go to summer school for failing calculus...(and french, but that's a different story). So 44 no's, two yesses, one job. Awesome.

2) I HAVE A-

Hah, never mind. It's none of your business internet ;)


A MONTH AND A HALF LATER:

So, I was on the computer and suddenly realized that a draft of this blog had been sitting around for a while so I'm going to post it now, without further ado. I'm also going to post a new blog post immediately after! yay!

French Women Make me Nervous

This is both true and the new title to my novel which, until recently, was titled "Cloudy With a Silver Lining".

Yes, I know it's a terrible title which is why my new title is "Silver (or French Women Make me Nervous). I got the idea from this website, which is a Title Generator.

Wonderful things, title generators. You can get great titles at the click of a button rather than wracking your brain and picking something LAME (Yes D.M, the title of your novel is lame and unoriginal...but that rant is for another time. Bashing people on a blog seems cowardly though I secretly actually wrote out a huge rant against her and then deleted it because I felt mean even though she is- okay, enough. I can rise above petty reviews that aren't really reviews at all.)

Oh yikes, now that the rant is gone, this blog post is really short...Pressing forwards!

Here's the title generator.

http://www.guywiththecoat.com/titlegenerator.html

This particular title generator can be pretty sassy at times. Not only was a sub-title "French women make me nervous" but there was one called "The people Adolf Hitler Meets in Heaven". And there's more than one type of title generator out there. There's the awesome kind like the one I used that gives you pretentiously amusing titles, there's the kind that generates titles from words you feed into it (I'm not sure how it works but it's pretty cool, though it makes silly titles sometimes) and then there's the kind that feeds you Harlequin romance novel titles like "The Widow's Silhouette" or "The Silken Rose" and "The Erect Menagerie".

I don't know where that last one came from but I swear it was on the list.

The one I used was not necessarily the most original, given that it copy/pasted bits and piece of classic titles and famous works but it was definitely the most amusing. Who wouldn't want to read a novel titled "French Women Make me Nervous"?

Okay, the french woman isn't the main plot in my novel and heck, they're not even in France but she is french! And a redhead...a redheaded frenchwoman. A fiery redheaded french woman!

Sacre bleu!

(You can read my whole rant here in case you were interested:  http://www.thoughts.com/fungiportal/rant-that-youre-only-reading-because-you-read-my-google-blog

Like A Boss

You know those people who always have a sense of false modestly and it makes you so angry because you're all "but fuck, you're really really really really good at this!"

And the conversation goes as such: (Person A is the false-modesty asshole and Person B is the complimenter)

Person A: haha, nahh. I'm okay (fishes for a compliment)

Person B: Are you kidding? This is amazing!

Person A: Nah, it's okay (still fishing for compliments).

Person B: What are you talking about? It's gorgeous!

Person A: Really? (adopts false expression of surprise)

Person B: Yeah, really. It's great! You could sell these you know...

Person A: Haha, nahh...

And so it continues..

As you may or may not have noticed, I am not one of these people. If I suddenly come to the conclusion that I am good at something, I will say this:

*BLEEP* YES. LIKE A BOSS. I AM AWESOME.

I have issues with modesty sometimes. Though in other situations I am incredibly humble. Anyways, the point  of this discussion about modesty is to show you two projects that I ridiculously proud of. Well, three. Although you can't really see one of them because it did not photograph well. 

First Up:

My hippie bag. That is, HIPPIE and not HIPSTER. There is a difference. Hippie is all flowy skirts and laid back attitude and Hipster is drinking bad beer, dressing like a slob and quoting dead american poets. 

I am crazy proud of this bag. Not only is it big enough to hold school books and other crap, it is really really sturdy. The only thing I would have changed is the length of the strap (speaking of which, it's connected to my bag via these really cool round plastic beads that I found at Chaton Beads. They match the bag quite nicely). 

Anyways, I found this pattern in "Stitch n Bitch: The Happy Hooker". I'm sure you can find this book at your library or you can buy it. I think it's around $20.00 CDN...But yes, since this pattern is from a book and not an online tutorial/other user I don't think I should post the pattern, especially given that it was three pages long...

But here's the gist of this bag:

1. Find a pattern for squares that you like (make sure they don't stretch too much)

2. Make 12 of them.

3. Crochet them together

4. Crochet a couple rounds around the rectangle you've just made. Turn it inside out, sew the bottom together and turn it right side out. 

5. Make a strap (any width) started from a solid ring or from the side of the bag, make it as long as you want and attach it to the other side.

Et voila! A useful, awesome bag that'll make your friends ask you for one too. Then you can say "Sure! But it may take a while (even though you made yours in like, 3 days...)

Oh, and make sure you use a sturdy, non-stretchy yarn like cotton. Nothing is worse than making a large bag out of acrylic. And if possible, buy a strap/ribbon/cord for the strap of your bag as the cotton strap stretches a lot, or just make a short strap. And if you do crochet your own strap, double the yarn to make it thicker and sturdier.

So now that you've seen my boss bag, here is something pretty cool too:

This a style of crochet known as "Turkish Crochet". This is not a place where I will be posting a tutorial but if you go on Ravelry and type in "Turkish Crochet" you will undoubtedly find the same tutorial as I did. I made these bracelets for a couple friends of mine for their birthdays (these bracelets make wonderful gifts as you can use any beads your want really-I used seashells, go figure- and they can be as chunky or as delicate as you want. 

So now that you've seen what I am good at, here is the piece de resistance: 

Oh yes. 

These are mini origami crane and water bomb drop earrings. Each earring comes personalized with your choice of figure (crane, water bomb, flower, owl etc...), paper (patterned, plain color...) and matching crystal drops (I have no red crystals so I use white instead, though I will be investing in red crystals as soon as possible!). Each pair is $10 if you would like to order and each is customized according to your specifications and coated in FIMO glaze to ensure stability and protection (and shiny-ness). The figures are about 2 cm in height and width. 

So there you have it. I am feeling incredibly pleased with what I have accomplished over the last two days (origami figures, turkish crochet bracelets--the bag was made a couple months ago--). 

God I'm good sometimes ^_^

Oh, and I forgot about this hat that I made the other day (in case you couldn't tell, I have quite a bit of free time because IT'S SUMMER TIME BIIIITCH!! Ah, the perks of being in CEGEP. You start the same time as high school students but finish a month earlier :)

Yup, that's me. I have huge eyes sometimes. Mostly when people point cameras at me...
But anyways, this hat is made of a mixture of 20% Alpaca/80% Acrylic and doubled with a pink/grey/white/black variegated mohair that is 30% Mohair/70% Other wool. It's really REALLY comfy. And warm. And it has braided straps on the sides. And a big, fat, giant POM POM. This is the first time a pompom has looked good so I'm really excited :)

Caffeine Induced Euphoria!

Yay, I now have some facebook pages to flog me wares!!

This is for the jewelry I make:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Galaxy-Glass/255599324510664

And this one for my items of the crocheted kind:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/CraftyBits/320595024676699

Do be so kind (whoever reads this blog) as to like my page and order anything you like! Reasonable prices, awesome stuff :)

That should be my motto!

"Reasonable prices...awesome stuff..."

No Gaby, it really shouldn't be.

Well friends, it's 3 o clock in the morning and I have so much caffeine in my system it'll be a miracle if I fall asleep. I wish you well.

Good morning!!

The Snowball Effect

There is a well known phenomenon that exists in today's society where information gets transmitted across the globe as fast as a bat outta hell (although one would think that the bat wouldn't want to get out of hell so quickly as they have been deemed rather ghoulish and halloweeny...maybe I should have found a different saying...anyways). This is called the Snowball Effect.

It begins as something of little significance (or maybe very significant but no one knows what it is) and it builds and builds upon itself until, lo and behold! Everyone knows about it.

I'm talking about the Kony 2012 incident.

I'm sorry, I mean The Kony2012 Movement, brought to you by Invisible Children, funded by homophobic churches.

Yeah...

But hey, I'm not here to complain about Invisible Children (even though they are suggesting that we give money and technology to an already corrupt Ugandan army to look for a guy who's half dead in the Congolese jungle and who hasn't been active in about 6 years).

I'm here to complain about the dozens of facebook/blog/twitter/reallol/9gag/tumblr posts about it. It's funny, because people didn't know shit all about Joseph Kony (I'll be honest, I didn't know about him until last year- 2011- when I was representing Uganda at my school's mock UN debate) and then all of a sudden they claim they care about making a guy famous that, frankly, they know nothing about. They don't know that he hasn't been seen in Uganda for more than 5 years, they don't know that he is currently hiding in the Congo and they don't know that he's going to die soon from malnutrition and the elements because he's got nothing left to go on with (aside from about 5 International Criminal Court warrants for his arrest for crimes against humanity).

Yes, Joseph Kony is a monster, yes, it's fantastic that everyone knows about him! I'm not complaining about that. 

What pisses me off is this:

Three weeks ago, the day before the Invisible Children video went viral, I saw two posts for Kony 2012 and an invite to "Cover the Night" which I respectfully declined.

I may be in social sciences, but I am not a political activist.

Two days later, my newsfeed was plastered with photos, memes (yes, there were asshole trollers making jokes about him) and SO MANY LINKS FOR THE VIDEO. And tons of little quotes like

"Help spread the word! By bringing a criminal to justice, we can help make a better tomorrow!"

And exactly how are we going to accomplish this?

So all I saw, all everyone was digest-posting about was Joseph Kony. Friends were going all "THIS IS WHAT WE SHOULD CARE ABOUT" on me while others were simply apathetic.

And the best part?

Two days later, I didn't see a single post about Kony 2012. All of a sudden, my news feed was back to normal with Marianopolis Memes, girls posting pictures of themselves with their heads covered in pasta or out clubbing, guys sharing prog-rock music and people watching kittens barking again.

The next week at school, there wasn't a single rally, no table in the hallway in front of  Wayne's World advocating the capture of Joseph Kony, no donation fund jar, no bracelets for sale.

The snowball effect: something of little significance that builds upon itself until all of a sudden, everyone knows about it and everyone is talking about it.

A quick climax coupled with a swift drop.

How effective.

Blanket Violence Against Women

The Shafia case of a father and wife killing their three daughters and barren first wife due to “shaming the family” was one that I followed very closely in the newspaper. The daughters Zainab, Sahar and Geeti and first wife Rona had been killed by their father/abusive husband before being put in a car and push into a river.

Up until then, the girls had sought refuge from their abusive father and mother going so far as to run away from home. The youngest had confessed to her school guidance counsellor that she was afraid to return home, terrified that her father would kill her. Unfortunately, the bodies of the three girls and their father's infertile first wife were found in a river in Ontario, brutally killed by the very people they had warned their trusted ones about.

The trial termed the brutal murder an “honor killing” (an absurd recently deemed un-islamic idea by the Islamic Supreme Council of Canada) and the father Muhammed, wife Yahya and son Hammed were sentenced for first degree murder: life in prison with a possibility of parole in 25 years.

When Project Liberty had a display at Marianopolis advocating Stop Violence Against Women, lying on the table were photos and stories of a dozen girls, all killed for their right to live and be happy, mostly in various Middle Eastern countries. The crimes committed by their family members (usually a father, brother, husband or mother) ranged from getting acid thrown in their faces, being brutally stabbed and even stoned to death.

But the worst part is that many of these brutal “honor killings” are happening right here in Canada. The Shafia girls were killed in Kingston, and Aqsa Parvez, a 16 year old girl killed to save her family from “embarrassment” was strangled to death in Mississauga by her brother.

Aside from the horrific "honor killings" the number of women being harmed is even greater once you take into account how many are domestically abused or sexually assaulted in the African continent and other third world countries. This is where the issue of awareness comes in.

I am currently taking an Art and Activism class and for our final project we either have to write a paper or create a work of art. With the help of my sister, we came up with a plan to make a quilting project to raise awareness about violence against women worldwide.

Here's how you can help:

Let your friends know about this project. We want to get as many people involved as possible.

Decorate a patch for a quilt (6x8 inches on cloth) with anything you like. Bear in mind these questions while decorating:

-What does it mean to be a woman?
-How do you feel about gender equality?
-What sort of activities do you like to do?

The patch can be decorated any way you wish, as simple as coloring with markers to bedazzling it. You can put anything you want on it such as an activity that you like (a book perhaps, or a keyboard and musical notes) to what you think it means to be a woman (love, family, etc...) Think about everything you are allowed to do and dedicate that to a woman who was denied that right.

Please have the patch ready by the first week of April if you are participating in Blanket Violence Against Women's first quilt. The finished quilt will be on display at Marianopolis College during Arts Fest if you wish to see it.

Thank you!

Please, if you have any questions, feel free to send me an email!

gsamek@gmail.com

Blanket Violence Against Women is a movement to raise awareness about the atrocities of abuse against women by creating the ultimate source of warmth and protection: a quilt. Every patch donated to this cause is dedicated to those women who cannot experience what we do. Please tell your friends and unite to end violence against women.